I AM Developer 黑段子 - 知乎专栏

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2017-08-02
原文链接:zhuanlan.zhihu.com

最近每天看看 I-AM-Developer 发的高级黑段子,还是挺有意思的,搜集几个共享一下:

  1. *4 hours after learning new framework*
  2. > guess it's time to release my own ebook!
  1. > how do i lose weight?
  2. > eat slightly less food
  3. > ...i don't believe you
  4. > how do I learn JS?
  5. > time+repetition
  6. > ...i don't believe you
  1. [at a conference]
  2. - who's working on ML or AI right now?
  3. *lots of hands go up*
  4. - any of it in production?
  5. *lots of hands go down*
  1. *spend 10 mins explaining how to do something to colleague*
  2. colleague: "sounds like it'd be easier if you did it"
  3. me: "easier for who?"
  1. me: this codebase could benefit from more test coverage
  2. also me: but it'd be me writing the tests...nah
  1. - we use docker
  2. - oh cool, why? what is it?
  3. - no-one knows what it means, but it's provocative
  4. - we use docker
  5. - oh cool, why? what is it?
  6. - no-one knows, but we all use it
  1. front-end developer needed:
  2. • expert knowledge of HTML5, CSS3 & JavaScript
  3. • lack any form of personality
  4. • good sense of UX
  1. - ok, who's ready to learn javascript?
  2. [30 hands go up]
  3. - who's going to give it more than 1 week?
  4. [30 hands go down]
  5. Next day: "JS SUCKS"
  1. [days go by with no tasks assigned to me]
  2. [need to take the afternoon off]
  3. "Sorry, you're an integral part of this team."
  1. I've only restarted my Mac 3 times in the past 6 months, each time was to exit Vim safely.
  1. With every new framework release comes the fresh chance of masking your lack of fundamental JavaScript knowledge.
  1. A desktop Electron app is like a cat bringing home a dead mouse...
  2. I can see you're proud of it, but I won't be using it.
  1. outside the industry:
  2. -what do you do?
  3. -I'm a cook
  4. inside the industry:
  5. -what do you do?
  6. -I'm a full-stack sauté chef
  1. a deep learning algorithm to tell you when you sound like a dork talking about functional programming in public
  1. Serverless = "someone else is responsible for these servers going down"
  1. - we're really excited by the cloud in 2017
  2. [under breath] bunch of servers
  3. - once your app is in the cloud
  4. [muffled] bunch of servers
  1. The hardest part about getting into deep learning is constantly updating everyone that you're getting into deep learning.
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